It’s Impossible to Get Good Love Without Self Love

 

Are you searching for that great love of a lifetime? Are you waiting for that special someone to “complete” you? Do you feel that something is missing from your life because you are not in a relationship? Here’s a love note from the Grown Zone: Your happiness is not out there with the “right” person or “the one.” It is within you. You are “the one.” To attract healthy love, you must focus on and cultivate your most important relationship: the one you have with yourself.

Here’s the truth: It is not Grown to expect a relationship partner to provide what you are not committed to providing for yourself. The capacity for others to love you can never exceed the love you demonstrate for yourself. Furthermore, you don’t attract what you want in relationships, but what you are. So if you want financial security, tender, loving treatment, and emotional safety in a relationship, you must be committed to requiring that of yourself in single life. On the other hand, if you are desperate and unhappy as a single person, you are neither qualified nor prepared for a healthy relationship and you will attract and choose anything but.

The best way to prepare for enduring, healthy and loving relationships is to focus less on trying to find the “right” person, and invest more into personal growth, in learning to be your best you. When you become the absolute expert on what is good and healthy for you, you train yourself to recognize and attract those who are ready, willing and able to meet that standard of care for you in a relationship.

To be Grown is to be happy, healthy and whole all by yourself. No other person is the key to your happiness; you are the key. Others may only enhance or diminish what you established. Whether single or in a relationship, always live—and love—by an uncompromising standard of self-love.
  Zara D. Green and Alfred A. Edmond Jr. are business and life partners and the authors of      Loving In The Grown Zone: A No-Nonsense Guide to Making Healthy Decisions in the Quest    for Loving, Romantic Relationships of Honor, Esteem and Respect  (www.LovingInTheGrownZone.com). To learn more about the couple’s Grown Zone initiative, go to www.GrownAdvice.com.